Notice the lack of posts lately? Well, I've been writing them. They just never make it out of draft stage.

First of all I've been ridiculously busy. But second of all (and most of all) I am stressed out beyond belief. Like so stressed out I'm just plain angry. So maybe if I just let it all out there, something will give and I can get over it and move on.

By the way, I'm 100% completely grateful for all that I have in my life, a loving family, fiance and friends, a great education, an awesome apartment, food in my belly, (some) money in my bank account. But, sometimes things suck, and I get grumpy. So if you are opposed to reading a little bit of venting (about wedding and non-wedding stuff), you might want to stop reading here.

My biggest stressor right now is job related. I've been looking for a full-time, permanent job for a while now. I think we all know that the economy is bad and jobs are scarce and blah blah blah. It would be one thing if I just couldn't find a job at all. But that's not the problem! The problem is that Sean has a really well paying job here and he doesn't want to leave. I don't blame him either, if I were him, I probably would do the same thing. But it makes my choices really tough. I either have to ignore other positions outside of this area to stay here and possibly hurt my career path by doing so, or possibly take a great offer that requires me to move and live away from him. Neither of those choices are particularly appealing to me, but unless a really amazing job offer opens up around here, and quickly, it's going to come to that.

Just in case you're wondering.. that's me stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Then there is this wedding planning business. Gah. Do you know how long I've been searching for a venue? At first it was all cute and fun. It was like playing in a scavenger hunt. Now it's just exhausting and boring. I want to move on. I want to make some other wedding related decisions but so many things rely on our venue. I've actually been considering contacting wedding planners to see if they can do some sort of a la carte package and just help me find this freaking venue. I feel like once I get that decision made, I'll pick up speed again and I can do everything else on my own.

Maybe, I'm just being lazy. I think part of me doesn't want to do wedding planning right now because I know it's not the most important thing in my life right now. My career decisions and my relationship with Sean are what's important. It's not that I don't want to get married, I do. But I feel like I have a cloud of more important decisions hanging over my wedding planning dreamland.

AND! We just got this intern at work, and I have to share an office with him, and he drives me crazy for 8 hours a day. Seriously. It's awful. I know that's part of the reason I'm so crabby lately.

Anyone have any advice to snap me out of my funk?

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Dancy said...

Hang in there - it'll get better. I know it doesn't sound logical but maybe you need a day to just sit on the beach or poolside & chill out? I know I do!!

Oh & I TOTALLY feel you on the officemate thing. I have 1 that eats I mean he has b'fast at 10:30 & makes it last for about an hour. Then he goes to get lunch around noon and works while he eats (which is fine) but it takes him 2-3hrs to eat a sandwich & chips. Then around 4pm he has an apple or some kind of fruit. And somewhere in there he snacks on protein bars that make him fart.

Oh & did I mention he chews with his mouth open?

kill me now.

Samantha said...

Oh my. A day on the beach sounds like heaven right now. Actually a day on the couch even sounds like heaven right now!

And it's actually very comforting to know that other people have crazy officemates and are still alive. Although I swear, if my officemate were to fart loudly and consistently, I would probably freak out on him.