On Including my Groom
I'm doing wedding stuff most of the day. If I'm not trying to directly cross of to-do list items, I'm doing "research" and reading blogs and bios to get inspiration. I'm doing this all.the.time. What's Sean doing while I'm immersed in my wedding world? Usually watching baseball, or football, or making calculated changes to any one of the number of fantasy sports teams he has, or he's adding to his massive collection of autographed sports stuff.
I really don't want to be bothering him all the time, showing him this awesome blog post from so-and-so or showing him every inspiration picture I save to my computer or bookmark for the future. But I realized recently that in my trying not to overwhelm him and bother him, I've been leaving him out.
When we had our first meeting with our photographer she asked us a lot of questions about our plans for the wedding day. As I answered her questions I realized I had never really discussed a lot of this stuff with Sean. To my defense, they were never really concrete decisions, more of "I think maybe we should do this" ideas. But still, I felt awful about it. I know that he doesn't care about wedding details as much as me, but this is still his wedding too and I should be putting in more effort to include him.
Two weekends ago we took a 6+ hour trip to Massachusetts for a friends wedding and I used the time in the car to catch him up on everything I was thinking for the wedding. I brought my huge wedding planning binder (post coming soon!) and went through it tab-by-tab and told him all of my thoughts. For almost every single thing I said he responded with, "sounds good, whatever you want." And even though it just reiterated the fact that he really isn't into all of the planning details, it was still nice to talk to him about it.
How do you include your groom in your planning? Does he care about the planning details?
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4 comments:
I totally get where you're coming from on this because I am struggling with the same thing. I feel like I have made all of the decisions and that my fiance just goes along with them. After a while, I started to forget to tell him some of my plans/ideas because I figured he wouldn't mind. I am starting to delegate certain tasks to him (like the cake) so that he has the opportunity to have some things exactly the way he wants them. Awesome post!
I actually did the same thing! I asked him to be in charge of all of the music arrangements. I know he cares way more about the music than I do so I figured it would work out well to get him involved. Now I just have to remember to let go and not micromanage his task when he doesn't do it in a timely manner like I would. haha
I have been having a similar issue, however my Mr. really wants to get involved but just doesn't have the stamina to do the research. I try really hard to think of simple straight forward tasks that I can delegate so that he'll feel included. Also at least 4 nights a week we spend about 30-45mins going over my favorite finds and any new causes of stresses!
I'm always happy to hear that other people are having similar experiences. Thanks for sharing!
Mr. L wasn't too big on the planning at first..it took some time and the nearing date to get his butt in gear. He really enjoyed the food aspect and was determined that a few things happen (namely a chocolate fountain)
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